This week's Bible Study - June 22, 2008

Extraordinary Wisdom for Everyday Living
Word Power Made Wise

Background Scripture: Lots of verses in Proverbs....

Quote of the Week:
“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”
Mark Twain

Each of the lessons in this series involves some practical applications for displaying wisdom in everyday life. All of the lessons are based on the book of Proverbs, written by Solomon, considered to be the wisest man of all time. He certainly made several non wise choices in his life, but his one desire from God was to receive wisdom. If you were to take the book of Proverbs and read a chapter each day, you would find that there are very many thoughts that are applicable to your daily life.

This lesson is about the words we use. We all know the expression "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Chances are you heard that several times on the playground at school. You probably hear the phrase less as and adult, unless you work around the kind of people that still operate on the 6th grade humor level (where phrases like "I am rubber, you are glue, what you say bounces off me and sticks to you" abound - yeah, take that!). There are probably a couple of extremes regarding the sticks and stones statement. Some people often have sharp knee jerk reactions to words - taken too harshly and creating a big deal when there may or may not have been any wrong intention. Some people seem to be able to take any kind of verbal abuse, with little apparent impact. On the other side, there are those who use their words as weapons to harm another person. It may not even be intentional, but they forget the power of words.

Often, name calling is all about one person trying to make them feel more powerful by making someone else upset. When they have this control over the other person, their self esteem tends to rise. They pass their unhappiness on to someone else, and thereby attempt to make someone else upset. I'm sure some people that do this don't even realize that they are doing it. If the target chooses not to get upset, sometimes the words will stop after a while. I used to work with a guy who was probably the most in your face person I've known. He would find something out about you and just needle you. If you showed that it bothered you, he would continue to do it mercilessly. However, if he saw that it didn't have an impact, he often would leave you alone and could even become a friend. Strange.

Proverbs 14:25 -

As believer we are called to be truthful. Have you ever told a lie and then forgot the lie that you told? The truth stays the same, but the lie tends to change over time. Eventually, it comes back to bite the person who told the lie. If you've seen Perry Mason or any of the more recent law shows, you have seen the power of cross examination. A lie rarely stays consistent. We all realize the impact of a false witness. Why do some people change the story? Some are so concerned about protecting their own selves that they find it easy to be deceitful and destroy another person with false testimony.

It's really even bigger than that. Sometimes, it is better to say nothing, rather than destroying another and following it up with 'but, it's true!'. How far do we spread truth in an attempt to destroy other people? We should be about bringing the truth to light, rather than spreading lies - and at times that may cause us to choose truth over what seems best for ourselves.

Proverbs 15:1

How do you respond? Are you gentle or harsh in the tone of your response? If you have children, you know how you can change their mood by the way you deal with them - you can either calm them down or stir them up. Why is it that we so easily forget that when we deal with adults?

Sometimes, we think the harshness is really how loud or out of control we say the words we say. However, some of the most 'skilled' word users seem to be able to give a harsh response, while sounding nice. It's more that the tone. When we are dealing with others, there is not much that stirs up anger more than grievous, biting words.

Proverbs 15:4

How powerful is the tongue? This passage shows that the tongue can bring healing, as a tree of life, or a deceitful tongue can crush the spirit. Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear." Are we building others according to the need of the moment? Or are we taking advantage of the moment to destroy another person? It is amazing the types of things that people may say to somebody that is hurting.

James chapter 3 talks of the power of the tongue - as a fire. We are able to tame all sorts of animals, but no one can tame the tongue. Rather than using our words as a weapon, we should be using them to build one another up. Are we speaking words that comfort and convince others, in an effort to reconcile differences?

Proverbs 15:23

We all have so many things going on in our lives. It is easy to put something off to the side. Our schedules may be jam packed with meetings, family activities, work schedules and so many other things. In addition, we have so many different ways to communicate. Many people have several phones (home, work, cell phone(s)), email accounts, instant messaging, and other ways on the web - myspace, facebook, etc). There are so many ways to get in touch with people, but it often makes it harder to get a response. Are you responsive to getting back to people?

It's not just about getting back to people quickly - it is more about getting back to them with a timely word. We need wisdom in determining how we schedule all of the things in our lives, so that we are there for those in need.

Proverbs 15:28

You've heard the expression about speaking 'off the cuff'. This is when someone will just spout the answer that comes to their mind. How many times would you have been better off if you just counted to ten before you spoke? Too often, we are willing to speak our mind before we've really considered the repercussions. Rarely will we look back at what we said in haste and say "I'm glad I said that!" We need to govern the words that flow from our mouth so that we build others rather than tearing them down.

Proverbs 16:24

The right words said at the right time can make all the difference in the world. Words can bring people together or tear them apart. This passage says that pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet and healing. Just like a patient with a serious illness can recover more quickly with a positive attitude, our words can help others through difficult situations. And, only the word of God can cure the diseases that sap our souls. Are we sharing God's words with those in distress?

Proverbs 17:27-28

You likely know some people who speak very little. It isn't as if they aren't thinking, but they may be measuring their words. This passage indicates that a man of knowledge and understanding uses words with restraint and is even-tempered. Some things really do not need to be said. I've seen comic skits where a person says "everything" that they think. The things that they think may be true (at least to them), but can you imagine how much trouble you would get in each day if you said everything you thought? I believe many of us would come across as fools. And, most of us would be unemployed, unloved and alone.

I've heard it said that it is better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and let everyone know you are. This passage states that even a fool is thought to be wise if he keeps silent. He is seen as discerning if he holds his tongue. There are certainly words that need to be said, but in many cases, we'd be better off to think before we speak. We need to be careful when we speak and we must speak to the purpose.

Proverbs 18:20-21

You are what you eat - I've never quite understood that. You are what you say. When people say things long enough, they begin to start believing what they say. Have you ever really paid attention to political races and listened to what the candidates are saying? You can listen to debates and it becomes apparent that somebody has to be lying, but neither opponent will admit to that. They have begun to believe what they say - even if it is far from the truth.

The more that they say, the more they believe, and eventually it comes back to bite them. This isn't just true for politicians, but it is also true in our lives. How much trouble have we brought upon our own lives by saying false things or by speaking to intentionally injure another?

Proverbs 21:23

When you hear the word 'to guard', what comes to your mind? I've played sports all my life, so I inevitably think about guarding the opponent. In basketball, you want to keep them away from the ball and make it difficult for them to score or pass if they have the ball. If you are in law enforcement, you may think of guarding a prisoner. You know that if the prisoner gets out, there may be a lot of bad things that happen.

This passage tells us how we can avoid calamity. Is there anyone who doesn't want to avoid calamity? I can't think of anyone I know that is standing around waiting for that to happen. If we can guard our mouth and our tongues, we can keep ourselves from being entangled and in trouble.

Proverbs 25:11-12

Have you noticed how people like to decorate their houses? Often, you will find little knickknacks sitting on shelves or something else that is special. One of my relatives was once given plastic fruit and since there was a little scene made over it, she kept on receiving all different types of fruit each year. It was probably overkill, but we know she secretly loves the fruit people!

Our words, when spoken at the right time, can be very rewarding to the listening ear. These verses talk about the wisdom in getting counsel from the wise. When the counsel, or reproof, is spoken - it is as if it is fine fruit in beautiful silver baskets.

Proverbs 26:20-22

If you've ever been camping and started a campfire, you know the importance of materials in starting a fire and keeping it going. Paper and kindling can be used to start the fire, but without larger wood, the fire goes out. The wood is needed to keep the fire going.

In this passage, we see that words of gossip keeps a quarrel going. Some people feel they just have to tell others about something that someone else did wrong. There is probably a time for telling a close friend, if it is something that is near to you, but too often, the person that is spreading gossip is keeping something from getting solved.

It seems that what gets shared gets around. Often, words spoken in confidence find their way back to other individuals and they take a life of their own. Our words can be damaging to many others and can keep strife alive, just as wood keeps fire aglow.

Contention continues to heat the situation, until others are put into a flame. As long as there are gossips and whisperers and the such, that fire continues to be kindled.

Proverbs 26:28

We are called to be truthful in our words. This passage speaks of two different types of lies that can be equally destructive. The first is a lying tongue that slanders another. We all know the hurt that this can bring. Some people seem to relish in putting others down. Hopefully, we can see that this is something we should stay away from.

There is another type of lie that may not seem so bad. Flattery can become devastating. There is an unreal perception that is being created, and since this one seems to be less of an issue, it may actually be more detrimental. We need to avoid those who slander and flatter - and we need to avoid those types of words in our own lives.

Closing

There is so much that can go wrong with our inappropriate use of words. There have been broken relationships between nations because of words that have been spoken. Yet, still so many people want to keep using their words to harm others.

In closing, I heard this song by Relient K this week, which seemed very appropriate for this lesson. It is called Bite My Tongue. If you want to hear it (not everyone will like it), go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV1HFOWggO4