This week's Bible Study - May 4, 2008
Unlocking Your Best Relationships: Appreciate
 Background Scripture:
Philippians 2:19-30, 4:15-18
Quote of the Week:
“Appreciate me now, and avoid the rush”
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
In the area of relationships, I think most people could use help. At least I know I could. Personally, I do a pretty good job of establishing relationships with most people and maintaining friendships, but there are times where the relationships seem to fall to the side. It may be that a person changes jobs or moves to another neighborhood, city, state or even country. Absence and distance make relationships more difficult to maintain, unless everyone really works at it. We sometimes end up taking the relationship for granted, thinking that we can step away and it will just continue on its own. There are also other people whom I've had a great difficulty in establishing a relationship, for a variety of reasons.
Some people have a few friends, but they don't ever seem to have the deep relationships. I've heard many people talk about the necessity of having at least one or two key people that they felt comfortable about calling any time of the day or night, when a large issue arises. Some people have several of these types of friends, while other people would have no idea who they could call upon. Some expect too much from others in a relationship or they themselves may be what is called 'high maintenance'. Just as in every other area of life, there are extremes in relationships. Some people have difficulties in getting along with anyone else, for a variety of reasons, and others seem to be friends with everybody. The next few lessons deal with relationships and some insight from the Bible that can help us unlock the keys to great relationships. This lesson speaks to one important aspect of relationships - appreciation.
You've probably heard that little chant - "2,4,6,8 who do we appreciate?" You can think of lots of different categories of people from all levels of society (firemen, policemen, pastors, teachers, friends, neighbors, best friends, family members, etc). I've heard of different classes (in schools and some associated with religious retreats) that focused on appreciation. Everyone said something about everyone else that they appreciated. Some take that for granted, but there are others who never felt appreciated by their families or friends or others - and they hold those comments of appreciation very near to their hearts.
Sometimes, we get so busy in life, focused on our own issues; that we forget to let others know how much they are appreciated. In a work situation, many people are needed to be successful. Have you stopped to appreciate the people who help you? Do those who are with you everyday or who show concern for you know how much you appreciate them?
Of all the missionaries in the Bible, the apostle Paul was the one who had the most exposure. He wrote the largest amount of books in the New Testament and he began churches all over 'his world' - and showed genuine concern for the people. Sometimes, we have lessons about Paul and the thought that people go away from the lesson is that they need to be like Paul. Some people may need to be that way, but by and large, most people should not strive to be like Paul, but people who supported Paul. Paul realized that he couldn't do everything on his own, and he utilized many other people to help him get things started, to support him financially and to do followup for him. Not only did Paul care for the churches, but he greatly appreciated those who served with him.
As Paul wrote to the church at Philippi, he indicated his desire to send Timothy to them, so that he would be cheered to receive word from them. As mentioned previously, Paul started many churches and he showed great concern for them. He was very selective in who he would send to help him. Paul mentioned that there was no one else like Timothy, who took a genuine interest in their welfare. Many people would spend a great amount of time looking out for their own interests, but Timothy had shown that he was truly concerned about the interest of Jesus Christ. Paul fully expected to come to see them, but he knew that Timothy would take care of their interests, when Paul would send him.
Paul not only said that he appreciated Timothy, but he also gave some very specific reasons why he appreciated him. As you think about the people around you, can you identify the things that you appreciate about them, and then let them know? In the workplace, people do things because it is their job to do, but what difference might it make if you let them know that you really appreciated their work? The same holds true in other area of your life. Think specifically of why you appreciate others and write it down. It could make a world of difference.
Paul still had some need to hang on to Timothy for a while, so he was going to send Epaphroditis (now there is a common name you hear today) back to them. Epaphroditis (now known as E) was Paul's brother in the faith, as well as his fellow worker and soldier. E was sent from the church at Philippi to help care for Paul's needs. He was one of their own and Paul appreciated not only the church for sending him, but also E himself. E had been sent to help Paul, but then had taken ill and almost died. It had a large impact on both the church and Paul, to know of E's suffering.
However, God had mercy on E, and he fully recovered. Paul was eager to send him back so that the church would be less anxious for one of their own. In this world in which we live, many families have been impacted by war in the Middle East. When news returns of major injuries or death of those who are from our hometowns, the entire hometown comes together. Assuming these soldiers recover, their homecoming is usually very large and joyful. Paul wanted to send E back to the church, so that they would be less anxious.
As Paul was sending him, he wrote to the church that they should welcome E in the Lord with great joy and honor him and others like him. He was willing to offer his life for the work of Christ, so that he could help Paul when the church itself couldn't.
Paul appreciated E, because he was willing to step out of his own comfort zone, in order to help another. Have you ever been involved in a situation, where someone else came to your aid, even at their own risk? If you have such an event in your life, why not send a note to those who helped you and let them know how much you appreciate them?
Paul had written of his appreciation for both Timothy and Epaphroditus. However, his appreciation was not just for these two men. Paul appreciated the church at Philippi. He recalled that when he set out from Macedonia, in his missionary journeys, that the church at Philippi had supported him much more than others. When Paul was in Thessalonica and in need, the church sent aid again and again. The relationship that Paul had with the church was very special.
The church that I attend has been very involved in missions around the world for the past several years. We have sent teams to many different countries and are supporting many different missionaries. I've noticed that in many of these areas, specific churches have partnered with the missionaries and are supporting them either financially or with consistent teams that visit them or in other ways. There is a powerful link between the churches and the missionaries, and I believe this is very similar to what Paul experienced with the church at Philippi.
In writing to the church, Paul was not asking for more, but just wanted to offer his gratitude and appreciation for what they had done. They had supported him in many ways, including sending gifts with Epaphroditus. Paul wanted to thank the church and let them know how much he appreciated them.
Closing
I wonder why we spend much more effort in identifying problems with relationships, without really thinking about why we appreciate others. It's no wonder that our relationships seem to fail - we get so focused in different areas that we forget to do what could be termed 'scheduled maintenance' in our relationships.
As you read through the lesson, are there people that came to mind in your life? Are there people that need to know that you appreciate them? What about your family - do they know why you appreciate them (beyond you 'have' to?) What about your friends - do they know how much you appreciate them and why you appreciate them? Are there co-workers that need to hear that you appreciate them? What about neighbors? What about teachers or schools or churches? As a suggestion, why not put some real thought into whom you appreciate and then let them know? It may not change a thing, but I can guarantee you that it will make some people's days, and it will help solidify relationships. We don't do to get, but often we find that building relationships will have a very positive impact on our own lives.
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