This week's Bible Study - May 18, 2008
Unlocking Your Best Relationships: - Be Trustworthy
 Background Scripture:
1 Samuel 18-20
Quote of the Week:
“A true friend never breaches the trust of his companion or stabs in his back. He is trustworthy and reliable. One should therefore always try to be a true and reliable friend. ”
Sam Veda
In the last couple of lessons, we have learned about a couple of things that are needed in healthy relationships. We need to be able to appreciate others - not just in our mind, but also to let them know that they are appreciated and even why we appreciate them. Have you taken time out to let someone know how much you appreciate them? We also learned of the importance of communication in healthy relationships - not only with others around us, but also with God. Are you communicating with your key relationships or are you just expecting them to continue without any effort? In our relationships with our children or with others, communication is very important.
In this lesson, we begin to learn about trustworthiness in a relationship. You may think of other words like confidence, dependable or reliability. We really desire trustworthiness in all of our interactions. Have you ever been to make a major purchase, only to feel like you are getting the run around from the salesman? Obviously, both the seller and the buyer want the best deal, but when either side can not be trusted, the transaction is much more difficult. A seller who is known to be trustworthy is much more likely to make sells over the long haul.
Just as we are looking for trustworthiness in a salesman, we are also looking for trustworthiness in our relationships. Who really wants to establish any type of relationship with someone they cannot trust? In our deep relationships, we may often share things that we are dealing with - does anybody want those things aired to the community? Even in failed relationships, it is important to protect the integrity of the other party, as much as possible. Are we as sincere and trustworthy in our relationships as we are called to be?
In the previous chapter, there is the story of David and Goliath - one of the best known stories of the Bible. Goliath was a Philistine giant, who towered over the men of Israel. Each day, he would come out and taunt them - they were admittedly no match for Goliath. David, a young shepherd, who was bringing food out to his brothers in the army that was hiding, saw Goliath mocking his God and the people of Israel, and after a series of unlikely events, David was able to fight Goliath - and defeat him with a slingshot and then with Goliath's sword. David made a name for himself. Saul, the king, who probably should have been the one to step up and fight Goliath, noticed David and asked to speak to him.
Saul's son, Jonathan, learned of David following the defeat of Goliath. Jonathan and David became very good friends - the passage says that Jonathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as himself. There was a bond between the two men - stronger than the normal bond. Occasionally in life, you come across people with whom you have a strong bond. As we will learn, this relationship between Jonathan and David was very special.
Saul kept David with him at the palace, and did not let David return to his father's house. David's initial mission was to take some food to his brothers and then to come back with a report. David never made it back to his father, Jesse, but I'm sure that the report of what David did spread quickly through all of Israel. Since David was away from his family, Jonathan became as a brother to David - giving him his robe and tunic, as well as his sword, his bow and his belt. I guess this is literally giving the shirt off his back. I was raised with brothers - and I have sons that are brothers. Rarely do you see this type of relationship among brothers - especially as they are younger. Sometimes, the relationship with someone outside of the family seems easier.
As David stayed with Saul, he was given many things to do and he was always successful. He got a high rank in the army and all were pleased with David. The people praised Saul for the things he did, but the people began to praise David much more. Time and time again, in the Bible and in history, we have heard of jealousy in situations like this. The king wants to be the king - and often doesn't take lightly when people praise others more than the king. Saul was no different - he became very angry and kept a jealous eye on David. In fact, the next day, as David was playing the harp for Saul (jeesh! What couldn't this guy do?), an evil spirit came over Saul and he tried to throw his spear at David - twice! I would imagine after the first time a spear is chucked at us, we wouldn't give the thrower another opportunity. But, David eluded him twice!
Other events happened that clearly showed that God's hand was upon David - but no longer upon Saul. At one time, Saul was God's man, but that time had come and gone. In all that he did, David found success - more than the rest of Saul's officers - and he became well known. Saul became more and more afraid of David, and it stated that David became his enemy for the rest of his days.
Sail really didn't waste a lot of time in making his intentions known to those around him. He told his son Jonathan and all of his attendants to kill David. If these men showed allegiance to their king, David was potentially in a tough situation. However, Jonathan was one of the men that Saul told to kill David and, as mentioned, he was very fond of David. He warned David of Saul's plot to kill him. He told him to be on his guard and to go into hiding. Jonathan was going to speak to Saul and let David know what the outcome was.
When Jonathan spoke to his father, he spoke very well of David. This is one of those things that people we trust will do. Have we ever failed in this regard? I'm sure many, if not most of us, have been guilty of defaming a friend somewhere along the line - in school or in a job or just among other friends. This is one of the things that can cause relationships to be at risk. Jonathan told Saul that David had done nothing to wrong Saul. On the contrary, David had benefited Saul greatly, in killing the Philistine. That was a huge victory for the nation and Saul was glad (at the time). There was no reason for Saul to be angry with David - why would he want to have him killed?
Saul listened to Jonathan. Apparently, Jonathan had a relationship with his father such that he could be trusted. Obviously, Jonathan was right, but the driving influence in Saul's life had not been honesty, but jealousy and rage. Saul made an oath to Jonathan that David would not be put to death.
Do you realize the risk that Jonathan took for his friend? Saul, although his father, was not of sound mind - and if he saw that his son was siding with his 'enemy' David, along with the rest of his officials and the nation - Jonathan could have been the first casualty. Jonathan did take a risk and at times, we will find that we must do the same for a friend. If you are a parent, what kinds of things might you do for you child that you would never do on your own? Are you willing to risk, as a friend?
Saul accepted David back, and once again, an evil spirit came upon Saul. Again, he was sitting in his house with a spear in his hand. (Just between you and I, seems like that should have been a sign to David, but who am I?) Saul chucked the spear at David, but David eluded him again. David then made his escape. He was encouraged by his wife to escape, lest he be killed. His wife, Michal, Saul's daughter, told Saul's men that David was ill. She created a cover story to buy David time and David fled to find Samuel, the prophet. Saul pursued, but God continued to protect David.
David found Jonathan and asked him what crime he had done and why was Saul trying to take his life. Jonathan told David that Saul always confided in him, so why would his father Saul do his without telling him? David explained that Saul knew Jonathan was watching out for David, and was avoiding Jonathan. David and Jonathan created a plan to see if Saul was really out to kill David - and David told Jonathan that if there was anything that he had done, Jonathan should kill him now. Jonathan affirmed his loyalty to David.
Jonathan was going to find out the true intentions of Saul. David was to hide and Jonathan would let him know. If Saul truly intended to harm David, Jonathan would send David away safely. If this were true, Jonathan asked for David to protect him and his family. Jonathan was willing to do more than go out on a limb for David. He was willing to risk being apart from his father - and apart from David. Jonathan also knew that he may lose David - but never lose that friendship. How hard is it to lose the presence of a friend? Jonathan saw the situation and knew that was a possibility.
As the story goes, Jonathan found out that Saul intended to kill David - and his anger burned against his own son. Saul threw his spear at Jonathan - so he knew that David was meant to be killed by Saul. Jonathan told David that he had to leave, so they parted company.
Closing
If you know of Jewish history, or much of the Bible, you know that David was called the man after God's own heart. Sure, he made his share of mistakes. Actually, he made some pretty major mistakes - yet God used him in a mighty way. Most have heard of David. However, not all have heard of Jonathan. Jonathan took a very big risk to side with David, rather than his father. He risked his chance at ruling the kingdom. He risked a name for himself. Did he know what greatness David would attain? In retrospect, you could see how God was at work in David's life, but nobody really knew. Jonathan was there to help David through this trying time. God seemed to place Jonathan there for such a purpose.
Are you here for a purpose to help someone else along? Granted, it is very easy to get wrapped up in our own issues and problems. And, we do have to take care of things in our own life - nobody is going to pay our bills or go to work for us or take care of our needs - we need to do that to our own ability. However, who has God placed in your life at this moment, perhaps for the purpose of us being there for them? Lots of people want to be the David. How many people want to be the Jonathan? I would contend that, without the Jonathan, there would be no David.
The bond that Jonathan and David had with each other was very strong. They cared more for one another than for personal fame and glory. Jonathan could have had much more if he stuck with his father, but his name would be like so many others - forgotten. Throughout our lives, I believe God will place others in our lives for specific purposes - some of these are transient - friends for a time and then gone. Others establish bonds that are lasting. These bonds are based upon a willingness to do the right things and to be there for one another. Are you that person for someone else? And, do you have others in your life that are there for you? It is very difficult to unlock these relationships, if you are not the one who is willing to be trustworthy for others. Let us seek to be faithful and trustworthy with those who God has placed in our paths.
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