This week's Bible Study - November 4, 2007
Seeking Your Father's Approval
 Background Scripture:
Matthew 6:1-18
Quote of the Week:
“Lean too much on the approval of people, and it becomes a bed of thorns” ---
Tehyi Hsieh
Do you seek the approval of others? I believe that in our lives, we all have sought the approval of someone else. It may have been a parent that had high expectations - academics, sports, music or in some other area. It probably was at least one teacher that you had in school that you did what you had to do to get them to approve of you. It isn't just part of childhood - it continues into adulthood. Some are always seeking the approval of bosses, co-workers, spouses, friends or others.
What do you do when you are bent on seeking approval? Generally, you make some changes to what you do so that they will approve of you. Some are rebels in life - and almost go the other way so that they seem to be more intent on repelling others, rather than being approved. It could be in the music they listen to, the clothes they wear (or not), the length and style of their hair, etc.
When we are honest, we would all have to say that we alter our behavior in one area or another for someone else. Sometimes, it is a good thing, because our default behavior is generally not the best course of action in our lives. But, there can be a problem when we are more concerned about what people think about us - trying to change to be somebody we really aren't. As Christians, most believers know that there are areas of their lives that are out alignment with God. Sometimes, they will try and change those areas if others know about them, but we should not be seeking the approval of men, but of our Father.
When you think of seeking your father's approval on an earthly level, what do you think about? Were you on a treadmill that seemed to just keep getting faster, making you feel like you never measured up? Or, perhaps your father seemed to not really care about anything you did. You can see how our relationships with our earthly fathers may impact us as we grow as believers. Our heavenly Father is not like any of our earthly fathers. And, it is truly his approval that we should be seeking. How do you do that?
One of the most important ways to seek God's approval is to seek God's approval. It isn't to do what God wants, only to be seen by others. I think we can become like this at our churches and it serves to drive others away. We develop an outward show for others around us, but inwardly, we may be far from what God would have us be. I can speak from experience, as there have unfortunately been times in my life where the person I wanted others to think and the person that I really was inside were two different people. I didn't really think that I was trying to put on a show, but looking back, I can see how that could have been said. It's not as if that was what I wanted to do, but it was sorta how it turned out.
When we are bent on seeking the approval of others, to be seen by them, we are distancing ourselves from God's approval, which is all that really matters. The Christian life is sometimes a balancing act, where we need to be about doing the right things, but we need to be doing them for the right reasons and with the right motives.
In this passage, we read about hypocrites who give to the needy, all the while announcing their gifts with trumpets, so all would hear. Face it, we are all a little in awe of an incredibly large gift that has been given, but if the gift was for the awe, the awe is all that one gets. That is the full reward. Obviously, we know if someone is creating a big scene every time they give, they are doing it for the applause of men.
Giving to the needy is not the problem. In fact, we are called to take care of those in need and we are called to give. However, when we give, we are to not give out of expecting anything in return - no favor from others. We are to do so in secret. This is sometimes difficult for us to accomplish. So, the admonition is not to quit giving, but to quit making a big deal about your giving. I know in times past, churches I have attended have had stewardship campaigns - often to get the funds necessary to build a new wing or a new sanctuary or something else 'spiritual'. I think asking the church to give is a good idea and maybe testimonies of those who give can be a good idea, but we should not be giving testimonies to highlight the amount that we give. Obviously, the millionaire who gives to the church will have more to give - and when the numbers are spoken, there is a collective hush. When the person who has little gives what seems to be a meager amount and speaks of their gift, more people roll their eyes. In secret, give from what you have and God will reward you.
Another area that is ripe for 'spiritual' approval is prayer. Is there anything wrong with prayer? Certainly not. Is there anything wrong with public prayer? No. However, when the prayer becomes more full of flowery language and less substantive, who is the speaker trying to impress. I've heard eloquent prayers in churches - in King James English (thoust and dost and the such) - people were obviously impressed with the speaker's 'spiritual' vocabulary. Does God only hear prayers in King James English (since that is what some must think Jesus must have spoken!)? On trips to other countries, I have impassioned prayers from church members. I remember the first trip to Belarus, where we visited a church and they had a time of open prayer. I remember older men and women praying with much passion in their voices. I couldn't understand a word (in Russian), but it was obvious that they were not trying to seek approval.
Rather than spending time with the most eloquent of prayers, in order to receive spiritual approval from a congregation, we must remember that we are speaking to God. There is a department director at my church who has the most impassioned prayers that I have heard - but he's not doing it to impress. He asks for prayer requests by name, and he writes them down. When he prays, he prays specifically for each request and lays them all at the throne of God. Jesus tells us to pray, but to keep from babbling on like the pagans. I've submitted papers to conferences and there is generally a limit on words - for an abstract to the latest conference, it was between 300 and 500 words. God doesn't have such a limitation. There is no minimal amount and no maximum amount. A prayer may just be "Father, forgive me" - or a prayer may span many topics. However, our prayers are not to get God to understand our needs. He understands them before we even begin to speak. Prayer isn't to make the issue known, but to have communication with God. He wants to hear us to establish that relationship, rather than to hear our lists.
When we start thinking about how we impress others with our prayers to receive their approval, we've missed it. Our prayer is truly between us and God. We are told that our prayers should be private - in our rooms, with closed doors and praying to our Father. A prayer that is brought before God receives his reward. A prayer doesn't have to be heard by anybody other than God.
In this passage, we see how Jesus taught his disciples to pray. Without going into a lot of detail, there are a few key points. The prayer was addressed to our Father in heaven - it wasn't to a person, an intermediary or a group of believers. Our prayers aren't for others, but for God. Jesus prayed that God's name would be hallowed and respected. We must have the correct attitude - knowing that we are coming before the awesome and wondrous God.
Jesus prayed that the Father's kingdom would come and that his will would be done on earth as it is in heaven. What does it take to pray that prayer? It requires us to begin to see our life and circumstances from God's perspectives and to ask for what He would want. Are you ready to ask that from God? Or, do you go to God with your laundry list - so that you ask for your will to be done - and for him to bless it.
Jesus asked for the daily bread today. He didn't ask for the menu for the following week, month or year. He wants us to take the needs that we have to God. He is looking at our reliance on God and not our self-reliance. Jesus asked for forgiveness of our own debts, as we have forgiven our debtors. Wow. We can hold grudges, can't we? What if our forgiveness was based solely on how we forgave others? We want to be graded on a different scale than the one we grade others with. We need to ask God for strength to forgive and for our forgiveness.
Jesus asked that we would not be led into temptation, but delivered from the evil one. We are so often encountered by temptation. There are so many things that can take us off our track. We need to remember that we can't will ourselves out of situations, but that we need to be delivered. From what thing do you need God's deliverance today?
The last part of this chapter deals with fasting. Fasting is not quite as prevalent as it used to be, but it may exist in other names. We seem to have forgotten the point behind fasting, because when many people fast or give something up, they tend to make a big deal out of it, rather than just dealing with God. You can imagine how people must have made themselves to look positively awful to show their devotion to God - at least outwardly.
Fasting is a time that can cause us to reflect on God, and less on the things that normally are on our minds. Normally, it comes with thinking of food and eating, as that is our biggest common daily need. Jesus told his disciples that they needed to make themselves look presentable when they fasted. They shouldn't be out to let others know how spiritual they are - it should a time to seek God - not man. Even if others can't tell, God knows our heart.
Closing
Did anything stand out to you in this lesson? Maybe it's not that you're out to impress with your 'spiritualness'. It may not be in the area of prayer or fasting, but in some other area. What thing might you be doing simply because you think others want you to do? Sometimes, people are serving in churches only for this reason. They may have forgotten the original intent of what they were doing and why they were doing it. How is what we are doing affecting our relationship with God? Is it about that or something else?
There may be others that read this that don't tend to have these issues. However, sometimes we prejudge others. That can be as bad. We need to realize that our relationship with God through Jesus Christ is just that - our relationship with God. We cannot look at others and presuppose what their relationship is. Only you and God know your true motive. You just take care of what is between you and God. Pray for others and let us all strive to seek God's approval.
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